There’s an African proverb which when translated means “When a parent dies there’s a living parent, is a lie told to orphans.”
How many of us have been to a funeral when the deceased had younger children, and we offered our services and time but never to reach out to the children ever again?
How about when the children reach out, they are ignored or blame the parent for trying to guilt them or putting them up to it?
True story. After the death of a parent, the paternal family decided to support the children who were three and nine years with $50.00 (for both children) a month allowance. The gesture was very noble, but after over ten years, the children didn’t see a cent of that allowance.
Then there was the friend who promised to be there and be a surrogate parent regardless of time, place, etc. One day, one of the children reached out because they wanted a perspective from this friend for a school project. The friend wrote back, accusing the parent of hitting on them, and that they shouldn’t contact them again.
I realized this wasn’t a one-off incident. The widow of a football player confirmed a similar pattern. After the death of her husband and all the promises made by teammates, friends, families, etc., only one of them was there for her sons.
I’ll say this, if you can’t keep a promise, especially to a child, please don’t make it.
Peace!